Shadi Hangover

Good evening people, hoping that you are healthy and positive because this is more important currently. A piece of information for you all some of you might have heard that second wave of Corona is about to come it has already arrived in foreign countries but rumours are saying it is going to happen in India too. Again lockdown will be imposed though lockdown has not ended fully yet this time lockdown will be imposed with more strict rules all we can do is hope for best. You might have got an idea by seeing the title of today’s topic, yes I went to marriage of close cousin brother and it was really fun so let’s get started.

Last 2 days were the days I and my whole family was waiting for since April. Marriage was about to happen in April, but thanks to Corona it got delayed by 8 months. When the couple decided to get married in lockdown we all were like seriously are you guys sure about it as this was something new for all of us we were going to be following social distancing, wearing mask entire time and a limited number of guests. Punjabi wedding with limited people is like French fries without ketchup. The wedding included 50 (25 from groom side and 25 from bride side) guests in all including videographers, photographers We Punjabi’s are just obsessed with our wedding, guests, rituals (Rasam and Reets) and gifts we received. This marriage was very different from the normal marriages which I have attended in past. The marriage was of two days, can you believe Punjabi Wedding got over in such short span. This was the shortest wedding I ever attended but it was fun and somewhere fatiguing too.

The first day of the ceremony comprised of engagement and cocktail party where my bother and new sister-in-law exchanged rings. The ceremony had typical Punjabi Dhol and DJ dance arrangement and we had lots of fun. The same night after Engagement we came back and had Mehendi ceremony quickly and shortly it was just my family and brother’s family. The second and the final day comprised of Ghana ceremony, Haldi, Ghadoli and the last marriage. The day started with the Ghana Ceremony where the priest (panditji) ties a mouli or sacred thread on the bride’s and groom’s hand in their own homes respectively. It is considered as a lucky charm to ward off evil. The next Haldi ceremony is where turmeric (haldli) is mixed with rose water and applied to the groom as well as the bride by all of their family members. The next is Ghadoli, After the Haldi ceremony. The bride’s and groom’s sister-in-law (which was my mother in this marriage) accompanied by her siblings go to a nearby temple. The water is filled in a vessel (Ghadoli) which is carried by the sister-in-law on her head and she comes back to home with having fun on Dhol. The bride and groom have to bath with this water and remove all the Turmeric (Haldi) from his/her body. The final ceremony, marriage.

The marriage comprises of 5 parts Sehra bandi, Milni, Varmala, Pheras and Vidai. Before the wedding ceremonies commence, the bridegroom and his family assemble for a puja. As a part of this, the bridegroom is made to wear a turban and headgear or sehera, which covers his face. Milani is the warmest and hospitable ceremony of the wedding and Punjabis are known for these two attributes the most!! The bride’s family gives a warm welcome to the groom and his baraatis (guests). Varmala is a short and simple ceremony wherein the bride and groom exchange garlands and commences the wedding rituals. Pheras is the ritual where the bride and groom take vows of marriage by taking 7 rounds around the fire and accepting each other as Husband and Wife. Vidai is a heart-wrenching part of the wedding ceremony. The bride has to bid adieu to her family and her ‘maayka’. She throws a handful of rice over her shoulder in her family’s direction, expressing gratitude. She then sits in her groom’s car and leaves for her new home. In this marriage, all these ceremonies were performed keeping Covid guidelines in mind.

It was a sweet marriage which included all rituals with limited guests, it was fun attending a marriage differently. I arrived home today by 4 am and I’m still in the hangover, I can still hear the sounds of laughs and giggles, the sound of dhols in my mind. It was a great get together with family after 9 months.